From the recording 12 Stories: the Bible Album
STORY 5: The Conquest of Canaan (Joshua, Judges, Ruth)
With Joshua succeeding Moses, the Israelites, who were basically 12 loose tribes, fight their way back into the promised land, attributing their victories to God and not to their own strength. It often inspires them to take into battle the ark of the covenant that holds the tablets of the 10 commandments. (Picture the ark from Raiders of the lost Ark going into battle with them - ta ta da ta!) But whenever they win a battle, and take a piece of the promised land from the Canaanites, they forget God's warning, settle in with and marry the Canaanite women, and as predicted, start worshiping their gods. So God lets them lose the next battle and a piece of land with it. The Israelites cry out to God and promise to return to his ways if he would let them win again. God raises military heroes called “judges” to help them fight the Canaanites. The toughest Canaanites are the Philistines. 3 of the most famous judges in Israel are Deborah, a female judge, Gideon, who defeats a large army with just a few men, and Samson, the strongman whose long hair is the secret of his strength, but whose weakness is the Philistine woman Delilah. One day after luring him into a nap, she has his hair cut, and with it goes his strength. Eventually it grows back, and in an act of self sacrifice, he takes his chains, wraps them around the pillars of a stadium, and pulls the stadium down upon himself, taking the crowd of Philistines with him. But the fighting continues between the Israelites and Canaanites, and we’re told in the book of Judges that in those days there was no king in Israel, so everyone did as they saw fit, hence all the fighting back and forth for the promised land. Oy!
Lyrics
Oy, holy people here we go!
Try remembering when Joshua would win a war,
We’d owe it to the Man and not our hand.
Every time we win a war we’re as faithful as a whore,
runnin’ around with other gods,
with foreign women, and what’s more,
God is faithful all the time but He pays us for the crime,
letting us lose a piece of land every time we stray again.
But if we come back, He’ll lead the attack,
We’ll be his people and He’ll be our joy,
but if we forget we’ll soon be met
with the foreign rod he will employ! Oy!
Holy People, the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land.
Oy! Chosen People, the Philistines are pretty mean.
We’re doing the best we can.
Oy! Lil’ Debbie cut the fudge! God anointed you to judge
Sisera, go straight to Jael, the lady pegged him with a nail!
Gideon, the word of God said take the men who drink like a dog,
You don't need more, just wait and see
we're gonna get the victory!
Check out Samson with the hair, he’s the guy to take us there!
But Delilah had a plan: Cut the hair, betray the man!
But it grew back, he led the attack,
he pulled on his chains, and what do you know,
He took out a bunch of Philistines, but back and forth we go. Oy!
Holy People, the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land.
Oy! Chosen People, the Philistines are pretty mean.
We’re doing the best we can.
Oy, holy people. Oy, chosen people.
Oy, holy people, Oy, chosen ones. Oy!
Oy! Holy People, the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land.
Oy! Chosen People, the Philistines are pretty mean.
We’re doing the best we can.
Oy holy people, before there were kings,
Chosen people, you did your own thing.
Holy people, the trouble you bring,
Chosen ones!
Oy! Holy People, the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land.
Oy! Chosen People, the Philistines are pretty mean.
We’re doing the best we can.
Oy! Holy People, the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land.
Oy! Chosen People, the Philistines are pretty mean.
We’re doing the best that we can.
Oy!